S A W Y E R (confidence__man) wrote in a_lost_rpg,
S A W Y E R
confidence__man
a_lost_rpg

Something of a Pirate

Sawyer had long-ago abandoned the red headed young woman he had been talking to previously when their conversation became painfully desperate. It was a shame, too, because she really was quite pretty. There was just something about sweet and innocent girls that Sawyer couldn't stand. Maybe it was because he was so impure...so fucked up...that he didn't want to mar their psyche. He wouldn't wish this kind of mindset on even his worst enemy. Or maybe it was because he couldn't stand the possibility that someone good and pure might actually be interested in him. Interested in helping him. In loving him. In saving him.

He walked along the beach, back to the site of the crash and just took it all in. It was amazing how much the scene before him felt like the scene within him. Complete chaos. Pain. Death. Destruction. The people moving around were completely silent, contrasting extremely from the way they had all been just yesterday. There was a sense of mourning...a kind of funereal aspect to the beach. Who would have ever have affiliated a tropical beach with such a feeling as this? It was too ironic...it was like a slap in the face. A slap in the face from fate itself.

Sawyer figured all the other survivors were too numb or too preoccupied to take notice to him at the moment. So he decided to loot some of the bags for things that he felt would be important to him. Smokes, medicine, alcohol, that kind of thing. He picked up the closest bag next to him, and emptied it, rummaging through the contents and finding nothing of interest (besides, of course, the bag). So he moved along to the next bag, crouching and looking through an unknown person's possessions. He found an old-fashioned razor and decided to take it, placing it in his own bag and continuing on his way. Little did he know that he was being watched.

[Tag: Shannon]
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Shannon watched with curiousity as Sawyer rifled through a few bags strewn across the beach; occasionally pulling things out to put in his own bag. She wiped at her eyes, hoping that some of the redness from crying had faded away. She wasn't in the mood to play nice - still not sure what was going on with Boone was leaving an unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach, and she felt the need to distract herself.

She began to walk toward Sawyer as a thought formed in her head. This is probably not the best idea I've ever had, but I've got nothing better to do.

"Whatcha doing?"
Sawyer sighed at hearing the voice of another. He automatically knew it was Shannon. He had spent the most of his time on the island with her. He wondered why she was bothering him, especially after his fight with Boone and eventually their own personal fight. Sawyer had been extremely rude to her, he was surprised she had the courage to come up and talk to him. He wasn't about to apologize, however. She had brought it upon herself. But god, how he just wanted to be left alone. He kept looting around, not looking up, hunching his shoulders and furrowing his brows, hoping Shannon would recognize his body language as unfriendly. And if that wasn't enough, he was prepared to be a bit rude.

"What does it look like I'm doin'?"
Shannon's cheeks flushed a bit as she thought over her past interactions with Sawyer, including the kiss he had given her to try and shake her up. She didn't give any other indication to what she was thinking however, and moved to stand next to him.

"Looks like you're trying to find supplies, but rescue crews should be here soon."

At least I hope so.
"Hah, yeah, supplies," Sawyer said bitterly, as he picked up a car magazine and stuffed in it his bag. Supplies for myself, maybe. I hope she doesn't think she's getting anything out of me. A silence settled between the two, only the crashing of waves breaking it. Sawyer tried his best to keep it going for as long as possible, but became frustrated. "Is there somethin' you need?" He asked, looking up.
Yeah I'm lonely with nothing else to do, the only person who cared about me might hate me now, how about you? Shannon, decided that wouldn't be the best reply to Sawyer and continued to stare straight back at him not breaking eye contact.

"Nothing I need. I was just trying to find something to do, saw you over here, and thought I'd come see what you were doing."

Shannon smirked. Her excuse sounded lame even to her.
Sawyer wondered why Shannon decided to come and see him first. Why hadn't she gone and visited Preggers or the Doc or hell, ever her brother? Was there some hidden motive? Or was he on her mind? Now he was curious. The fact that her answer to his question sounded less than sincere only fueled his curiosity. And when Sawyer got curious, he put on the charm. Anything to find out the answers to his questions.

"I'm not so sure about that, Sticks." He said as he stood up. "Seems to me like you're lookin' for something, too. Another kiss, p'raps?" He smirked, pushing his dimples deep into his cheeks.
Shannon's mouth dropped open slightly in surprise. What, was he reading my mind? Then admited to herself, If I weren't so messed up right now and if I didn't have all this stuff to work out with Boone I might actually start trying to flirt with Sawyer.

"Nah," she said lightly. "I just don't know what to do with myself. I wouldn't be much of a help to anyone setting up shelters or anything and Boone needed some time to himself so, here I am."
Sawyer wasn't surprised to see Shannon's reaction. Instead, he was pleased. He knew his comment would strike a chord in her. He wasn't entirely sure if it was a good or bad chord but considering she hadn't hit him yet, she couldn't have hated that kiss too much. When she mentioned that she didn't know what to do with herself, Sawyer was ready to give her a smart answer. But the mention of Boone let reality set back in. He felt really guilty for beating the poor man up so badly. Sawyer had been sleep deprived, dehydrated and starving at the time and Boone's antagonizing comments drove him off the edge. Now he honestly wished Boone had won the fight.

"How's, uh...how's he doin'? Your brother, I mean." Sawyer said, looking down, pretending to scan the scattered bags. His cheeky smirk was nowhere to be found now.
Shannon sat down in the sand, watching Sawyer look over more bags laying in the sand. "He's doing ok I think. Still sore and bruised, but definately better."

Shanon realized it was her own fault that their conversation topic had turned to Boone, but she had hoped to try to get her mind off of him so she gave Sawyer a small smile and tried to change the subject. "What about you? How are you doing?"
Sawyer nodded, looking out to the horizon and swallowing when he heard Shannon say Boone was all right. It was what he expected to hear. He was kind of relieved that she didn't begin arguing with him about the fight, though. The whole situation was uncomfortable for him. He watched her sit down, realizing their time together was about to take a turn towards conversational. And he wasn't sure if this was a good or bad thing. He shrugged internally, a little conversation never hurt anyone...right?, and took a seat next to her, folding his arms on his knees.

He was taken aback, however, when Shannon asked how he was doing. They had just been talking about her brother, whom he had beaten the living hell out of, and she was asking how he was doing. Sometimes, he just didn't understand people. "I'm...fine," He answered hesitantly, before adding with a grin: "Fine and dandy." But it was a lie. Sawyer had never been fine. It was rare when people asked how he was doing and meant it, like Shannon did, but when they did, his answer was always a lie. And he wondered how many other people lied about how they were feeling. It was one of Sawyer's lifelong goals to tell someone he was feeling fine and actually mean it.

"So, uh, any news on the rescue situation? Is there a radio or somethin' we can call someone on?"
Shannon scanned the horizon again for boats without even realizing she was doing it. "I haven't heard anything about a radio or whatever, but it's not like I'm sure someone's looking for it. As for any other news about a rescue, I really wish I had some."

She looked at Sawyer out of the corner of her eye, surprised that they had been able to keep things civil even this long. Her hair blew into her eyes with a breeze coming off the water and she gave a small, nervous laugh, but sucked in a sharp breath when her fingers grazed the cut on her forehead she had gotten the day before. Looking at her fingers she saw dirt on them from the bandage and realized she should probably clean it.

"Hey did you find anything in there I might be able to use to clean this?" She asked pointing to the cut.
It had been a long time since Sawyer had been able to stay in the company with another person and just..be. A little conversation here and there, but it was nothing intellectual. He was actually semi-comfortable with Shannon. Probably because there was nothing to lose. He could do whatever he wanted to on this island and as soon as they were rescued, they would probably never see each other again. And that was fine by him.

He lit up a cigarette and nodded at Shannon's question. He dug through his bag for a few moments before extracting a rather large bottle of rubbing alcohol. "That's it, I'm afraid," he said through tight lips as he passed the bottle to her. "Might sting a bit."

shannon_lost

11 years ago

confidence__man

11 years ago

shannon_lost

11 years ago

confidence__man

11 years ago

shannon_lost

11 years ago

confidence__man

11 years ago

shannon_lost

11 years ago

confidence__man

11 years ago

shannon_lost

11 years ago

confidence__man

11 years ago

shannon_lost

11 years ago

confidence__man

11 years ago

shannon_lost

11 years ago

Sawyer shrugged. How hard could it be? "I, uh...I was a Boy Scout once. And I've done my fair share of huntin'. I'm sure there's nothin' to worry about in there besides some unwelcoming underbrush and maybe a few small, harmless critters. But of course, if you're too scared, I can just go by myself and leave you all by your lonesome out here."

He didn't wait for an answer before he jumped up from the sand and gave Shannon a hand for her to take to help herself up with. He glanced down either direction of the beach, trying to decide which way would be best. "Straight through, eh?" Once again, he didn't wait for an answer before leading her straight ahead into the dense, dark, lush jungle. He had never experienced anything like it before.
Shannon followed behind Sawyer, tripping over her own feet at first while trying to keep up. Even though she was only on the island because of the plane crash she still had to admit how beautiful it really was.

She was definately the kind of girl who was more prone to lay on the beach than to go for a hike whenever she was on vacation, but she didn't want to be alone, and somehow she and Sawyer had been managing to stay friendly with each other.

"So where to?"
Sawyer brought a hand to his chin and rubbed it thoughtfully. "Well, to our left we have an endless jungle of lush greenery and to our right we also have an endless jungle of lush greenery. I've never been a left-winger, myself, so let's take a sharp right." He said with a playful grin. He felt like one of those old men in khaki jumpsuits who narrated safaris. Except, none of what they were doing was rehearsed. They were in a real jungle, on a real island in the middle of nowhere. For all Sawyer knew, there could be very real threats awaiting them.

They continued through the dense landscape, Sawyer smirking at just how out of place Shannon looked. He doubted she had ever done anything like this in her entire life. He was half-expecting her to cry out, complaining of a broken nail or a mosquito bite. But to his surprise, she trucked on, only hesitating momentarily when she lost her footing or the like. And Sawyer found his hands instinctively finding their way to her elbow and lower back, to catch her if she might fall and guide her in the right direction. Heck, underneath everything, he was just a Southern Gentlemen.

Sawyer opened his mouth, ready to comment on how manners didn't really have a place in the deep of the jungle when something beneath his feet stopped him. A sickening crunch enveloped in a soft, fleshy bounce. Sawyer felt his heart drop into his stomach even before he looked down to see what it was. Instincts, he told himself. He looked down discreetly, finding that Shannon had not stepped on it, and not wanting her to realize something was wrong. His eyes were met by a sickly sight. A body of a young child, not older than five, lay beneath Sawyer's feet. A piece of scrap metal lodged into its skull, making it impossible to discern whether the child was male or female. But Sawyer didn't really care.

Without warning, Sawyer grabbed Shannon's hand and dragged her away from the scene, making sure that he didn't look back. He was simply being playful. Yes, that was it. He didn't know where he was heading except Away. He could feel Shannon's confusion and what he suspected to be fear seeping into the humid air. She had every right to be scared, too. A very unstable man she barely knew was practically dragging her through a jungle. There was no law on the island, no punishment for any crime. He would have been scared, too.

As if his frantic thoughts had been heard, they came upon a clearing in the middle of the jungle. It seemed to be covered by the trees canopies yet the small area was bare of any. The light filtered through the leaves of the trees, sending sunpatterns dancing wildly in the wind. And in the beams, every particle, every atom of the air could be seen. Soft yellow grass grew knee high and in the far corner was a bush of bright red Hibicus flowers.

"...surprise!" Sawyer said with a cheeky grin, trying to pretend like this had been the plan the entire time.
Shannon tried not to show her surprise as Sawyer helped her whenever she lost her balance or tripped during their hike. They walked on without really stopping anywhere so when Sawyer suddenly stopped in front of her, grabbed her hand and dragged her in a different direction through the trees she couldn't help but look confused and surprised.

She was just becoming worried that it might not have been such a good idea to let this man, who was still basically a stranger to her, drag her further and further into the jungle.

When Sawyer came to a stop Shannon's momentum made her come close to running into him. At the sound of him saying "surprise" she took a better look at where they were. She let go of his hand and walked slowly into the clearing, letting the sunshine warm her.

"It's, it's beautiful," she turned to look at him and gave him a small smile. She almost felt guilty for enjoying her time with Sawyer after everything that had happened over the past two days from the plane crash to his fight with Boone.
Sawyer mirrored Shannon's small smile, finding that it was the first genuine smile he had felt on his face since the crash. Since...well, it had been a while. And he felt that it was strangely comforting, underneath everything. Like he and an old friend had been reunited. Like...like maybe he wasn't sick. Like maybe he and everything else would be okay.

He followed Shannon into the clearing and that's when everything came crashing back down. He had stepped out from the darkness into the light of the sun and he felt out of place. Like he wanted to turn and run back into the darkness. What the hell was he doing? He looked back at Shannon. What the hell was he doing letting her get so close to him? He'd only hurt her. She'd only hurt him. Or worse...she'd fix him. She'd save him. He stared off into space, frowning slightly as if frozen with the decision of whether to continue into the light with Shannon or sulk back into the darkness by himself.

What the hell was he supposed to do?
Shannon's smile widened when she saw Sawyer return her smile. She turned her face up to look into the sunlight coming through the tree tops, letting it warm her face. She closed her eyes and tried to pretend that she was there because she wanted to be...that it hadn't been because of some freak accident that her life felt like it was falling apart.

Shannon went over to the flowers which were growing on one side of the clearing and bent down to breath in their scent. She realized then how quiet it was, and turned to look over her shoulder at Sawyer. He looked deep in thought and she wasn't sure if she should disturb him or not. Turning back to the flowers she plucked one and stuck it behind her ear before walking slowly to his side and placing a hand on his arm. "Hey, everything ok?"
Sawyer snapped out of his daze at the feeling of skin on skin. His response was automatic. He had no chance to think about what he was saying before it came out of his mouth. "Of course, sweet cheeks. Why wouldn't it be? I was just tryin' to remember if I left the oven on..." He smirked and pulled her into the middle of the clearing. He layed down in the long grass and pulled her down with him, too.

His arms found their way behind his head and his legs crossed at the ankles as if this was some practiced position. And to be honest, it was. This was the way he spent most of his summers as a kid. Laying in the grass by himself, dozing off as he tried to spot animals and people in the clouds. He always became so out of character at times like these. He sighed. "We're not supposed to be here, you know."
Shannon shook her head slightly at Sawyer's flirting, and did her best to push any thoughts of what had happened in the past few days out of her mind. She laughed when he pulled her along with him to the middle of the clearing and when he pulled her to sit down with him.

Shannon watched as he laid back; looking up at the sky, and decided to do the same. She turned on her side, propping up her head with her hand when she heard Sawyer talking, "We're not supposed to be here?"
Sawyer didn't even turn to Shannon when she asked her question. He was too busy watching the leaves. They were like people. They'd be with one group for a moment and then the wind would blow and they'd go to another, forgetting about the ones from before, never touching them again. He wondered how many people the girl next to him, Shannon, had left without a second chance. Sometimes, he thought, people didn't realize how much their actions affected other people.

"Nah. None of us are supposed to be here. I'm supposed to be lookin' for somebody. You're supposed to be in L.A. with your brother doin' who-knows-what. The doc's supposed to be fixing people up. All the people who died...they're supposed to be livin'." He propped himself up on his elbow. "I don't think this was some random act of fate." Sawyed looked Shannon in the eye, holding her gaze a lot longer than was comfortable, before dropping his line of sight to the ground and laying back down. "Sorry, I don't know where the hell that came from..." he muttered roughly.
Shannon nodded, understanding exactly what Sawyer was saying, but she still had hope that everything was going to be ok. She figured it had only been a day, there was still probably people out looking for their plane.

"Hey," she said softly, looking over at Sawyer as he lay back on the soft ground. "It's going to be ok, really it is. I'm sure there's a rescue crew on their way right now."
"Hey, it's going to be okay." It's going to be okay. It's going to be okay. Shannon's words filtered through his mind on repeat, each time gaining more and more meaning and sincerity. And he knew that she had meant it in relation to the crash and being rescued but deep within his heart, her sincerity pierced the rough exterior. He felt like she was talking to him on a personal level. An emotional level. He felt like she was telling him it was going to be okay. He was going to be okay.

He propped himself up on his elbow again, looking at her. He could see the concern in her face as he felt his brows furrow in hope. He was sure that he looked pathetic, like an old dog begging for a bite of food at the dinner table, but he didn't care. Had he found someone that understood him? Or who cared? Maybe him exposing himself wasn't such a bad idea after all. As he continued to watch Shannon, he found that he wanted to touch her. He wanted to to know her. He wanted to taste her optimism.

He placed a rough, weathered hand against her jawline and rubber her cheek softly with his thumb before bringing her face closer to his. He pushed his lips against her soft, delicate ones as he closed his eyes. Electricity of life passed through the mouth. Human connection through emotions. Long-awaited salvation. But Sawyer knew that it would all end the moment the kiss ended. He couldn't let it end. So he quickened it. He deepened it. Anything to keep him from going back to being him.
Shannon watched, confused, as Sawyer propped himself up again; watching her. She wasn't quite sure what to make of the look on his face, and nearly jumped in surprise as she watched him reach out and bring his hand to her cheek. She could feel the pad of his thumb rub across her cheek, and her heart began to beat quickly as he kissed her, but instead of the anger that she had felt last time he had kissed her out of spite, she somehow knew that this was different.

She didn't pull away when he drew out and deepened the kiss. In fact she felt herself instinctively scoot closer to him and place her hand on his cheek. Shannon wasn't sure what to do after her confession to Boone and his possible rejection of her left her emotionally drained, but being wanted by someone almost seemed to make everything ok for the time being.

Sawyer broke away from the kiss slowly, avoiding Shannon's eyes. He felt ashamed for leading her on the way he had been doing. Reality set in and the question still remained. What the hell was he doing? His actions didn't even make sense to himself and he was sure they didn't make sense to Shannon, either. But still she stayed with him. Maybe it was all a game, he thought. Maybe he was being played.

"Sorry," he mumbled, still avoiding eye contact. He didn't want her to see him like this...so insecure. So confused. So dependant. So fucking weak. He wanted to run away or explode or do something so drastic it would scare her away. But he could think of nothing. "Maybe it's time we headed back..."

shannon_lost

11 years ago

confidence__man

11 years ago

shannon_lost

11 years ago